Talk:Charles I of Hungary/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 09:50, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
Royroydeb, thank you for your review. Based on your remarks, I made significant changes in the text. Please find my comments below. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
- "was King of Hungary and Croatia from 1308." - it should be was the king of Hungary and Croatia from 1308 to ?
- In the lead only the lineage of paternal grandmother is mentioned. Any reason? Why not of other grandparents?
- "inherited the claim of his father" - do you want to mean, that he was a contender to succeed his father as the king?
- "He was the only son" - A pronoun is not used at the beginning of a paragraph.
- "was the firstborn son" - what do you mean by firstborn son?
- Did the house became "extinct" because it did not have any descendants or was just a claim of Mary?
- The article says Andrew III was crowned the king in 1290, but Mary gave her claim to the throne in favour of his son in 1292. How does it possible?
- What authority did the Pope had to decide about the throne?
- Sorry, I do not understand your above question. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
- Why was the Pope's decision about the throne given importance? Was he sort of kingmaker? RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 18:15, 23 March 2016 (UTC)
- Sorry, I do not understand your above question. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 10:09, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
- A powerful Croatian lord... What does lord mean? A landlord? And why did he suddenly invite?
- Link Neapolitan
- They disembarked in Split - it should be from Split
- In the last sentence you want to mean the coronation should have taken place in that city with that crown? It should be reworded
- The last sentence of the second paragraph should also be reworded.
- Why he renounced the crown for Otto III should be explained
- Why was Otto unable to strengthen his position in Hungary?
- Who is Ladislaus Kan?
RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 18:15, 23 March 2016 (UTC)
- Link Church of our Lady and Buda
- the powerful lord. - Remove powerful
- now Timișoara in - replace now with present day
- new voivode - link voivode
- Charles had taken "full possession" - why it is in quotes?
- Temesvár to Visegrád - link them. Also mention where they are presently located.
- Both towns were mentioned in previous sections. I think we should not link them again (as per WP:OVERLINK). Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
- link Carpathian mountains
- Hungarian castles, along with the domains attached - what does domains mean?
- to rule "with the plenitude of power" - why is it in quotes?
- promoting "a daughter to a son" - the question over quotation
- army on the Leitha River. - I think on the banks of Leitha river
- were soon tortured - if you know the date, mention it otherwise remove soon
RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 18:28, 28 March 2016 (UTC)
- seizing the fortress of Severin - link Severin
- the new King of Poland, Casimir III - link Casimir III.
- (the so-called chamber's profit) - Why have you written so called?
- He died in Visegrád - in brackets write present day country
- was buried in the Székesfehérvár Basilica - mention present day country
RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 05:39, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
- has been recently married to - it should be "has recently married"
- to "Ruthenia" - again, why is it in quotes?
- His mother was a daughter of Gurke Csák. He was elected Bishop of Győr in 1336. - you want to mean that Csak was elected as the bishop or Charles? Rewording must be done.
- the "restoration of the ancient good conditions" - You can instead write, According to Kontler Charles declared that his aim...
RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 08:16, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
Thank you for your comprehensive review. Please ping me, if any further action is needed. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
I am satisfied with the response. I am passing it. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 13:22, 29 March 2016 (UTC)