Talk:McLaren/GA2

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 22:37, 7 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:37, 7 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

External links tool to the right shows at least 4 dead links.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:04, 8 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Dab links tool shows a couple of issues outstanding.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:04, 8 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Many of the issues from Talk:McLaren/GA1 have been addressed. Certainly the last three seem to have been addressed. I will evaluate the indented bullets as the review progresses (as I read the rest of the prose). The issues from those bullets were as follows:--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:52, 8 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The article is almost wholly concerned with the results of the racing team. It does not discuss things such as
- Budget
- Structure of the team and roles of the technical staff in the team, especially as the engineering is bigger component of the success than any driver can be these days
- Team politics, whether drivers are allowed to race freely etc
- Information about the team's factory, research facilities, wind-tunnel, supercomputers etc, staff
- Fan following/merchandise etc

If this trades publicly, why don't you include exchange and ticker symbol in the WP:LEAD and infobox information like most corporations.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:47, 8 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

WP:LEAD

I am of reasonable intelligence and do not know where or what surrey is. I am guessing by its placement in the sentence it is a county/province, but please link this municipality.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What is a constructor?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What is a constructors' championship?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:42, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
With the statement that they last won in 2008, I am left to wonder how active they are. Would it be difficult to maintain something like in the last completed season, the team won x races? Saying you have not won a series in 5 years makes it difficult for a reader to assess the current state of the operation.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Origins

Aren't there links for types of engines such as 1.5-litre Formula One-specification engines instead of the 2.5-litre motors?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:22, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

1960s

'C' version on the M7 seems like it should have its own article or at least be named M7C or be described as the C version of the M7A.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:42, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

1970s

GP not previously defined — as in Grand Prix (GP).--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:42, 11 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

1980s

What does "1982 champion Keke Rosberg couldn't gel with the car" mean?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:25, 15 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
What is a "back-marker"?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:25, 15 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

2000s

"test driver Pedro de la Rosa deputised for the remainder of the season." seems to need a verb.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:18, 18 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

2010s

3rd para, 1st sentence should be broken up. It appears to be run on.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:23, 18 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Can-Am

What is the Can-Am Series? If this thing is important enough to have its own section, you should provide a link like the one in the caption to the right.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The following year Robin Herd purpose-designed the Chevrolet V8 powered M6A, delays with the Formula One programme allowing the team to spend extra resources on developing the Can-Am car which was the first to be painted in McLaren orange." seems ungrammatical. Maybe runon.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"With Denny Hulme now partnering Bruce" seems to be missing a with.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Politics

link Alfa Romeo on first use.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:35, 23 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Sponsorship, naming and livery

what does "an interim testing livery" mean? is there a link?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:20, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Formula One World Championship results

Percentages above table need a pecentage.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:20, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
source for table is necessary.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:20, 26 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

External links

Merge all succession boxed for the same topic (see Barry Bonds #External links]]).

Image comments

You should use images on alternating sides.
You may be able to include more images with Template:Multiple image so you can put a couple side-by-side in certain sections.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:20, 18 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
several images need {{tobacco logos}}: File:Lauda McLaren MP4-2 1984 Dallas F1.jpg, File:Ayrton Senna 1988 Canada.jpg, and File:Marlboro McLarens Donington.jpg. Also if File:Mclaren racing usgp 2004.jpg needs the template, shouldn't File:Lap4 Canada2005 Raikkonen.jpg have it too.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 00:56, 28 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
File:Ron dennis 2000Monaco.jpg and File:McLarenBruce.jpg need {{personality rights}}.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:00, 28 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
File:McLaren logo (original).png seems to be used gratuitously. There is no discussion of it in the text. Thus, it violates WP:NFCC as used.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:03, 28 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Several WP:CAPTIONs seem to be ungrammatical in the sense that phrases that are not complete sentences have periods tacked on to the end as if they are complete sentences. You need to rephrase a lot of your CAPTIONs.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:06, 28 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am failing this due to the lengthy list of issues above in addition to the largely unresolved breadth issues stemming from the prior review (mentioned at the top of this review).--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:36, 29 September 2013 (UTC)[reply]