Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Double bass/archive1

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The double bass article has been the result of a lot of hard work by many individuals. This is by far the most comprehensive guide to the double bass, that is still understandable to most non-musicians, on the internet. This will surely be an interesting read for anyone browsing Wikipedia. -Bottesini 15:58, 14 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Object.The Terminology section is very inaccurate-in fact, most of it is flat out wrong. I refer interested parties to James Barket's excellent translation of Alfred Planyavsky's The Baroque Double Bass Violone for a discussion of the early history of the double bass. A thorough review of the text should put an end to this "it is called a double bass because it used to double the cello part" nonsense once and for all.

"Because it is approximately twice as large as the cello (the bass member of the violin family), and because the double bass was originally used to double the 'cello part an octave lower, it is properly called "double bass." This is incorrect. -brax42

  • Support Not sure about the Beatles pic tho'!--Light current 19:23, 14 April 2006 (UTC)
  • Object, 2a. I've read only the first sentence in detail: can you avoid starting with a negative? Further down, can you shorten the huge list of components, or integrate it into running prose? There are too many stubby little paragraphs; some merging is required. Tony 01:36, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • The section that had a negative at the beginning has been moved to avoid this. I will begin to remove the bulky list of components. -Bottesini 02:06, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Article is about 30% too large for FA and needs quite a bit of trimming--Light current 02:39, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • We have many featured articles larger than this one, including at least four newly promoted in the past month. Andrew Levine 17:01, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • In that case the FA requirements need amending.--Light current 17:46, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Dozens of people have supported longer FAs in the recent past. We very specifically don't limit ourselves to a particular size, just whatever is necessary to cover the subject in full (although I agree that this particular article could use some trimming). Andrew Levine 20:22, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Well this does have an effect on peoples efforts to raise the article to FA standard and has already caused some slight diffs of opinion.--Light current 20:49, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object
    • Lead is too short, not an adequate summary of the whole article
    • TOC is too big
    • the list of double bassists should be moved to a list page, which would cut down on the page size and TOC
    • External links and references should be split. Stuff used as a reference should at least have the date of access, consider using template:cite web.
    • Too focused on Europe and North America. The double bass, and various variants, are used elsewhere in a wide variety of contexts. This article will probably need subarticles.
    • Needs inline citations.
  • Tuf-Kat 20:58, 15 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Object redundancy in sentences, circular writing, fails 2a --Bob 15:50, 20 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    • Would you care to point out some of the redundancies and O writing? Thanks--Light current 15:59, 20 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

No prob. Here are some random examples.

    • Mention of string section and symphony orchestra at least twice in the lead.
    • 'extra-high', 'extra-low'.
    • 'The double bass is also the only modern bowed string instrument that is tuned in fourths (like viola da gambas)'—remove 'also', as usual; singular/plural inconsistency.
    • 'The issue of the instrument's exact lineage is still a matter of some debate, and the supposition that the double bass is a direct descendant of the viola da gamba family is an issue that has not been entirely resolved.'—remove 'still' and 'is an issue that'.
    • 'The design of the double bass, in contrast to the instruments in the violin family'—insert 'that of' before 'the instruments'.

I won't go on; it needs very thorough copy-editing, not just a fixing of these examples. Tony 15:21, 22 April 2006 (UTC)[reply]

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