Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Siege of Damascus (634)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
- Not promoted - no consensus for promotion after being open for 28+ days -MBK004 03:49, 8 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Siege of Damascus (634)[edit]
- Nominator(s): الله أكبرMohammad Adil
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I am nominating this article for A-Class review because... after having this article peer reviewed twice, and following all the suggestions and advices given by the reviewers i felt confident that it meets the requirements. Regards.... الله أكبرMohammad Adil 20:45, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Comment There are still hyphens instead of ndashes in the number ranges YellowMonkey (bananabucket) 23:28, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed it. i previously thought it was applied only between dates.
الله أكبرMohammad Adil 23:56, 10 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments
- No problems reported with external links or alt text. You have a number of ambiguous links in the article, please locate these and if at all possible remove them.
- Heraclius, in 612, managed to expel Persian from Anatolia, but was decisively defeated in 613 when he launched a major offensive in Syria against the Persians." That first Persian should be Persians or Persia, I think.
- More to follow later (needed in RL right now). TomStar81 (Talk) 22:00, 13 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- I have removed them they were 3.
الله أكبرMohammad Adil 22:30, 13 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks. Now here be the rest:
- You've still got a number of ambigious links in the article, these still need to be located and removed if at all possible.
- I can't think in terms of meters, neither for that matter can most from the United States, yet the picture caption in the First Byzantine Attack section lists the height only in meters. Can that be fixed? TomStar81 (Talk) 16:12, 16 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Done...
- I had removed the other dabs yesterday, now there isnt any, except for those redirect links of the article conquest of damascus.
- I have added a unit conversion code.
الله أكبرMohammad Adil 20:57, 16 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Support Though I would recommend remove the redirects as well, my major concerns have been addressed. TomStar81 (Talk) 23:58, 16 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- Object because of a need for copyediting, I pulled this from about a block of 7 lines
The Muslim forces laying siege to the city had been weakened by this withdrawing of men (9000 in total). First with the departure of Raafe's detachment and then the reinforcement of the Mobile Guard under Khalid [broken sentence]. At this point, if the Byzantine army attacked in strength against any Muslim corps guarding the gates, there would be a serious danger that they would break trough [sic] and
so uplift[lift] the siege.
Unsuccessful in breaking the Muslim lines, Byzantines retreated back to the fortress. The wounded Thomas is said to have sworn to take [a] thousand eyes in return.
YellowMonkey (bananabucket) 04:40, 28 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- how about this ....
The Muslim forces laying siege to the city had been weakened by this withdrawing of men (9000 in total), first with the departure of Raafe's detachment and then the reinforcement of the Mobile Guard under Khalid (inserted comma instead of full stop, broken sentence fixed). At this point, if the Byzantine army attacked in strength against any Muslim corps guarding the gates, there would be a serious danger that they would be successful in breaking the siege. (sic fixed)
Unsuccessful in breaking the Muslim lines, Byzantines retreated back to the fortress. The wounded Thomas is said to have sworn to take a thousand eyes in return. (this sentence probably need only an article i guess)
- English isnt my first language, though this article was copy edited by a native speaker User:Wereldburger758, who is now on an indefinite leave. Check if the above sentence is fine, otherwise please suggest how it should be.
الله أكبرMohammad Adil 20:29, 28 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- i have also requested a copy edit at Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests, waiting for some editor to take a look at the article.
الله أكبرMohammad Adil 21:22, 28 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.